Ultra-Independence
Being completely comfortable with your sense of independence is the goal for many that are within that age of emerging adulthood. It feels good when we hit that point, where the answers to our personal questions are within our realm of experience. When we meet someone that exudes confidence in denying the need to depend on anyone for anything, it can be seen as admirable. This “lone-wolf” personality/archetype can be observed as a strong-willed alpha that can be left to his/her wits, but they might be the ones in need of some company.
The “ultra-independence” that the lone wolves portray can also be some kind of inadvertent response to trauma. Being left or abandoned is a fear that lingers deep within, so to avoid that kind of possibility, new relationships and connections are never completely established or taken beyond what it already is. Shying away from talking about things within their personal lives is a norm for them because that level of trust is better untouched instead of explored for them. In doing so, connections with people stay at a level where they would not get hurt at the possibility that said person(s) might no longer play a role within their lives.
Check on the peers that you see as such independent people. Give a “Hello! How are you?” to the people that you praise for keeping a level head. For the friends that joke about being emotionless and blunt, try to sustain conversations with them. The people that you might think of as ultra-independent are the ones that will require more time in elevating your relationships and building a better foundation of trust that embraces vulnerability and intimacy. The lone wolves that you know might want some quality conversation, even if you’re the one doing most of the talking.